17
Jan
07

Massh*les

Apparently, I planned my homecoming perfectly with the Golden Globes, landing in Boston in time for a pre-awards show dinner followed by an awkward hobble to my couch in time for some of the more touching awards speeches (Ugly Betty, the fabulous America Ferrera, Forest Whitaker, and of course, Shonda Rimes).  As I catch up on sleep and neurotically examine my now deflated feet for further tell tale signs there’s a blood clot cruising around inside me, I embrace being home with energetic perusing of the post-Globes fashion analysis that acknowledges the true competition behind these awards shows.  Best Actress, no problem; Best Dressed, now that’s another story.

There are multiple reasons I love the fashion coverage.  A) I love clothes.  B) I crave fame.  C) I love lists.  D) I love criticism.  Watching these women parade around and listening to the increasingly waxy Rivers women and their fashion industry colleagues “ooooohhhh” and “aagghh!” over the outfits is much more fun when imagining what I’d turn up in in my fantasized red carpet moments.  I have no doubt I’d pull off sleek and elegant in the early years before being slammed as tacky and excessive once I started to get comfortable with the coverage.  Those who’ve known me a long time should easily recall my puffy socks and Reebok Princess hi-tops in junior high, with oversized peace symbol earrings, garguantuan earrings of bubble-yum boxes, and huge smiley face danglies as well.  Alternating pink and blue trim on the hi-tops kept pace with alternating pink and blue glasses that my old friend Dave lovingly told me resembled Sally Jesse’s.

(this is the same guy who, when he saw me in my back brace from my Jamaica fall at 25, immediately mimicked the scoliosis chick trying to get a drink of water in Sixteen Candles. With friends like these!…)

So imagine my sympathies this morning when I discovered one of my favorite celebrity Massholes on MSN’s Worst Dressed list.  Everett-born Ellen Pompeo being likened to Donald Duck, though she apparently came so close to looking good (unlike this filly, who none of us should ever hope to keep company with in fashion’s post-game wrap-up).  Hopefully I fared slightly better than Ellen at the Santiago wedding that was the impetus for my 2.5 week vacation from which I’m now recovering (minus the rock-hard abs, of course):

 Golden Girl

After all, it’s important to keep up with glam friends… 

Wedding Arch 

La novia y el novio 

Reception

and amazing scenery…

Zapallar

Chilean Coast

And now I’m back, sitting in my pj’s at my kitchen table, listening to NPR while the M.A.S. (who, btw, also looked fabulous at the wedding but who’s identity I must protect) reunites with home by reading the Herald. 

More to come.  After all, I have over 650 photos to share.

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