Flinging My Opinions (and all the gory details of my life) All Over Cyberspace

Well, perhaps I should be pleased that a) I’m starting to slowing generate enough readership that this has become an issue, and b) that for once I’m participating in the tech revolution rather than watching it pass me by (though if someone could program my Treo so I can get my email on it, that’d be great.  Thx.).  Seems that like some other blogs I’ve read recently (one of her many posts detailing this unfolding saga:  http://www.petiteanglaise.com/archives/2006/07/20/suspendered/), my references to my professional life are catching up with me (which, btw, means I’ve solved the search string mystery, no thanks to Farmers Tergie and Marbury).  

And so it’s time for some edits to the Restar Perspective.  For you pioneer members of the Redstar fan club, you’ll no doubt look back someday (or right now as you read) and not even vaguely recall to which opaque mudslinging I am referring.  Perhaps also in that distant future I’ll be relieved I reigned in my commentary, though I can only imagine this will be a lesson grudgingly learned.   I have to say that one of the more discordant aspects of this situation is the assumption that I speak with a different voice here than in other settings.  While there is inarguably some grain of truth to this, one of the things I’ve known for (for better or worse) is speaking out, especially things others don’t say, most of the time.  Some friends call this “honesty.”  Others call it “criticism.”  Others just avoid me and my opinions.  But more than anything, people come to me when they want someone to give them the “truth,” or at least that’s what they tell me.  Often, when friends repeat back things I’ve said to them in the past, I am totally mortified.  But I’m slowly accepting my own brutal approach, and over the last couple years have learned the hard way how to integrate it into the professional sphere to avoid sidelining myself completely.  It’s funny, I certainly like to observe and comment on the politics of situations, but I also consider myself above the fray.  This (rather righteous) approach in my career thus far is more limiting than I’d like, yet I’d like to retain the reputation as one who tells it like it is…  …I suppose I’ve come this far; according to my bible Darkside Astrology, I should have far less friends than I do.  You all know my tough love approach is only because I care.  Right? You do know that, I hope?  (Dramatic) SIGH. You know, in 2005 I had an autobiographical short story published on-line, which proved highly therapeutic in getting over the latest jerk.  However, once both the thrill of first publication and the wounded heart and ego healed, I was again mortified that I’d offered up such a juicy description of a fictional me.   (Though apparently not so embarrassed that I didn’t include a link to this publication here on the RP.)  Even with this, I vacillate over how much dish about the M.A.S. and my exhausting neuroses to share, and often wish my readership was more anonymous so I could get more detailed, more emotionally bare with them.  I suppose if I continue to write, in any autobiographical form, I’m going to have to come to terms with how I present my life, my loved ones, my peers, my foes, and be prepared for the response to my publicized perspective.  Speaking of targets, NOLA Roommate just walked in.  Time to sign off and channel my aggression in his direction for awhile.   



1 Response to “Flinging My Opinions (and all the gory details of my life) All Over Cyberspace”

  1. August 10, 2006 at 9:32 am

    Thanks for linking me on your page! Reading your blog, it sounds like we’re from the same hometown south of Boston. Great blog … I can relate on so many levels (big irish fam, boston roots, charity work, etc.). Looking forward to reading more!

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